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sometimes i want to get a bunch of piercings and tattoos and dress in leather and have teal hair and stuff BUT then i want to dye my hair blonde and wear nothing but cute pink dresses and knee socks BUT AT THE SAME TIME i want to wear my hair in a messy bun and sweat pants and old band t shirts and have that i don’t care look overall 

(via rudeshit)



yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

Get married

(via totallynotsecretlystalkingyou)


i went to a new school when i started second grade and i still remember what my parents said to me as they dropped me off on my first day at the new school: “dont do your yoshi impression, it’s weird and you’ll make no friends.”

(via rudeshit)


Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.

(via elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey)